I’m out on a bike ride with friends yesterday, and my pal Christine and I were talking about exercise. I told her that I hated running, but I love the biking. I’m not fast, but I just keep going anyway. She looked at me and said, “You’re a Viking!” Her reasoning was that I like endurance sports and lifting weights. I do CrossFit most of the time, and weather permitting, ride my bike. I have to say, CrossFit kills me. Some of the things they have us do… I feel like my heart could explode. But my favorite parts are lifting weights.
That said, her semi-joking statement really struck a chord deep down inside my psyche or something. I loved the thought! Not because I like raping and pillaging, but because Viking women are not dainty little creatures who take duck-face selfies. In my mind, a Viking woman is beautiful, smart, and strong in more ways than one. And they are not frail. I’ve been dealing with some self-hatred (for many years), and part of that is because I weigh a hefty amount, I have large melons, and I am TERRIBLE with diets. I’m guessing I weigh around 175 lbs. right now. I will never weigh 120 lbs. But suddenly, it’s okay. Viking women don’t weigh 120 lbs!
So, I realize I’m not a Viking. I’m not going to start dressing in furs and get a helmet with horns. I’m not going to slay somebody with a sword. And I’m definitely not moving to Norway. But the whole idea is that I come from a Norwegian family, along with Irish and Scottish. I have a good chance of having ancestors that were strong fighters. And that is what I’m choosing to embrace: strength. I’m deciding, as of yesterday, that I can be fit and not skinny. I can be strong and proud. I can have large melons and not be ashamed of them. In my mind, Viking women had large breasts. I don’t know why, but I’m rolling with it.
I do need to lose some fat and get more fit. I want to be stronger, but I also want to ride my bike. I want to be better at hills, and I plan on riding my first century (100 miles) at the end of the summer, just before my birthday. I will become faster, healthier, and I WILL find beauty in my own body. This blog will be part of my journey.